Tuesday, 5 June 2012

Be afraid ...be 'Very' afraid !

Greetings,

Meet Rasputin aka Thug aka The Cat from Hell - and he lives up to all names believe me !

Cue music from 'Damien'

Don't be fooled into thinking he is a sweet little Pussy Cat - he is the sperm of the Devil, the biggest pain in the biggest **** in the world !

If there's trouble to be found - Thug will find it (in fact he's usually causing it)
Anything to be broken - Thug will oblige
Curtains to be run up - Thug again
Carpets and furniture to scratch - guess who ?

He can eat for England and very often does -
He annoys the other cats
Pinching their food as well

He struts around asserting his authority, what he says goes, and no one argues

He was brought  to me a few years ago now, in the middle of Winter, he had been 'surviving' by living out the back of a Chinese takeaway - obviously he had a penchant for spicy foods.
He was frozen and quite thin, and looking quite cute and loveable, keeping his true character a secret until he had got all four feet under the table !

Well now, several pairs of curtains later, a couple of ruined bookcases, goodness knows how many ornaments and bits and pieces he's broken, charging up and down the stairs like the army with it's boots on, sitting in front of the TV when 'he' decides I've seen enough, helping himself from the fridge when he fancies a snack - you can see he's doing very well thank you !  I, on the other hand, am a total wreck.

This is where 'I' sleep - right ?

You lookin' at me ?
I can see you from the corner of my eye


I'll just sit here a while with these two losers and pretend I'm normal - she'll feed me then !




Looks like I'll have to help myself then

I'll just have another nap in the quilt while she's not looking

Right - if you don't feed me I'll knock this lot over for a start !

Then I'll fetch this lot down from on top of the wardrobe - better take notice of me - I'm giving you the 'Damien' stare again ! 

You can't see me now - I'm hiding !

Well I don't care who this pushchair belongs to - it's mine now OK ?


Actually, I think I prefer this one thank you

The trick he is most proud of is being a real live 'cat burglar', he opens the fridge without any effort at all and helps himself to anything and everything. 
This brings him tremendous 'brownie points' from the rest of the cats as they fawn all over him and fall at his feet because he has provided them with an unexpected picnic !

Actually, this usually happens in the early hours, and when I come down in the morning, there is usually the remains of the contents of the fridge over the floor, the cats are obviously too stuffed to finish off the scraps.

Some of the things he has had include: cheese, he likes cream cheese the best, milk - no probs he just knocks it over so it spills onto the kitchen floor then helps himself, butter, eggs - both cooked and raw, any type of pasta meal reserved for that days lunch, yoghurt and creme fraiche, and if I am expecting meat eating visitors, he will have the lot if I don't watch him, in the past he's had half a roast chicken, loads of turkey at christmas time, beef, curries, and he will pinch uncooked bacon for breakfasts as well as packets of sandwich meat !  I kid you not ........... 

I have tried child proof locks from Mothercare - these present no challenge and the fridge door is opened with a swift flick of the tail !

This is how my fridge looks on a daily basis now ...........

The bin, by the way is very heavy as it contains a sack of rabbit food !

And just to confirm who rules in this house ..............


Here he is last night with the famous stare again ...........
Am I getting fed or wot ?  haven't you seen enough Jubilee TV?  think how many tins you could have opened while you've been watching this !


Well I'll have a wash and just sit here until you obey me serf !

After all that bad press, I allowed myself a small 'ah' the other day, he had had a bad mouth (gingivitus  apparantly) and had to have a course of anti-biotics, I actually felt sorry for the little ******* !
see, I'm not all that bad !

take care peeps ...............

3 comments:

  1. Hahaha, brilliant post. You have just gotta love that cat. I never knew a cat could get into a fridge though..thank god my three haven't learnt that trick....Oh I forgot I have two kids that clear the fridge out!!

    ReplyDelete
  2. What a lovely post.....that's cats for you but your little Thug seems more intelligent that the average cat. What hard work but given the choice, I bet you wouldn't do without him LOL x

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  3. Great story, looks like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth♥

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