Monday, 23 June 2014

Life Hurts Sometimes ...


I have just found out thanks to the wonders of Facebook, that I am a Grandmother again.

A Boy was safely delivered to my daughter in law and Son, I'm very happy about that, my Son will be delighted, he already has girls.

I'm also overcome with sadness because I won't get to see him.  Because of a family disagreement I won't be informed of the birth, but no doubt pictures will be published on FB, so I will keep up to date on there.

I know most people would say forgive and forget, blood is thicker than water, make the first move, blah blah blah, but sorry, no can do !  Mothers are people too and have feelings.

I've done nothing wrong and will not grovel or apologise for something I haven't done.  I am a woman of strong principles, and just because I'm a Mother does not mean I have to lie down and be walked on by grown adults who know the pain their words are causing.

They have made their choice to believe someone else and shut me out of their lives - so be it.

12 comments:

  1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  2. So you would go and have the door slammed in your face would you ? and be insulted ?
    Some decisions are out of our hands and until you know the facts you really shouldn't comment.

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  3. You have my deepest and heartfelt understanding. I am in an almost identical situation and stand shoulder to shoulder with you for so many reasons.

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  4. 'The Tightwads' - thank you so much.

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  5. I have a similar situation with my son in law and my daughter law. Thank goodness I am not excluded to the extent that you are.
    It is all so sad. The hurt goes deep.
    Is there no way to reach them without apologising?
    My d-I-l told lies to my son about what I said to her and he was furious with me and DEMANDED that I apologise. I wouldn't because that would have set a dangerous precedent. She would have thrown hissy fit after hissy fit. I knew she would make a mistake sooner or later. She told a lie to my daughter about her best friend. My daughter is still friends with her, but is more cautious. She will be caught out in more lies and then maybe my son will see the error of his ways.
    Until then the pain is awful :-(
    I hope that things will improve for you some day.
    xxx

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  6. Carrie - thank you for your comments.
    You are right, the hurt goes deep You did the right thing in not apologising, why should you/we ? and you are right to say it would set a dangerous precedent. You would be wrong forever and ever !
    It hurts me greatly because my eldest son has been the one who needed the most help in life, and I did everything I could and then some, as any Mother would, but the speed at which he 'believed' things that were said about me cut me to the bone, I couldn't believe it, and of course I was cut off from my grandchildren too.
    All my children are now doing well and I know I played a huge part in their success, all own their own homes, two have their own businesses.
    As you say, perhaps one day they will realise what they have done. To turn against your Mother is just unbelievable and unacceptable.
    Take care xxx

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    Replies
    1. I was tried, convicted and sentenced before I knew what was going on !

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    2. I have some mental health problems because of an emotionally and verbally abusive husband. I have tried to explain my problems to my children without laying blame anywhere. The youngest and oldest dismiss what I say as fantasy. The middle one is supportive. We were taking him with us to visit another of our children when my husband forgot he was in the car and began his verbal abuse. My son was shocked!!!
      All I can do is live the best life I can.
      I never in my wildest dreams imagined it would be like this.

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    3. Carrie I can really empathise. We have a lot in common. Coincidentally I have just written an ebook about leaving an emotionally abusive relationship !
      Like you I live the best I can, I still have hopes and dreams, but the pain is always just below the surface.
      The nights are the worst, when it all comes flooding back.
      All we can do is get through each day at a time, paint on the fake smile and face the world. It's a pain that doesn't show, so not many people would understand.
      Take care of yourself, and if you ever want to chat you can contact me through the contact form privately.

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    4. I have tried to send a message via the contact form, but am not sure that it got through to you as the 'sending' box never disappeared. Did you receive the message?

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  7. As a grandmother in a similar situation I feel your pain
    The hurt never goes.

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  8. Anonymous - thank you, I'm sorry that you too are in this situation.

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