I wish I didn't feel guilty every time I want to do something for myself ! I blame my Mother for this, (she will probably start hurling thunderbolts down at me now)
I was brought up to accept that we should be 'working' all the time, i.e.housework in her case. To say she was fanatical is putting it mildly, she made Hyancinth Bucket look like a slob ! (for the benefit of foreign readers, Hyancinth Bucket is a fictional TV character who lives for housework)
Nowadays, I recognise that my Mothers 'condition' was definitely OCD - and then some. She just couldn't stop cleaning, all the time ****** cleaning. Now I like a clean and tidy house, but this was over and above. I had a miserable childhood because of it.
Anyway, I'm digressing. Some of this behaviour has definitely been ingrained into my being. Don't get me wrong, I am not a complete 'neat nick' who has a home like a photo shoot (well I'm sure you've seen some of my pics anyway), but my problem is, when I want to do something I love/like/am planning/looking forward to doing that doesn't involve housework (!) I feel so guilty that I don't get it done most of the time, hence a lot of procrastinating goes on here !
I know this sounds ridiculous, but when I'm ready to start/finish a project, I look around for things that 'must be done' first. It's as if I have to earn the right to do my own thing. I start looking at the skirting boards, or the windows, or the tops of pictures - I could scream !!
So that's where I am right now. I have an 'altered couture' project that is almost finished, but I just can't do it because I think (believe) I should be working on something else. It's a wonder I get anything done at all.
I can't sit still for a minute, I have to be up and 'doing' most of the time feeling I'm wasting time if I'm just sitting and 'being' - oh no, that simply isn't done.
I suppose I'm too old now to change, the way I try to get around it is to get all my chores done as early as possible, then really try to switch off and stop looking for jobs so I can indulge myself in some crafting.
I'm sure my Mother ascended into Heaven on a vacuum cleaner and is now happily dusting the clouds.