Friday, 26 June 2015

I have a magic paintbox to paint away the pain ...

concealer to hide the black circles under my eyes
foundation to cover the blotchiness from too much crying
whitening eye drops to take away the bloodshot from my eyes
lipstick to paint on a smile
a little cheek blusher to make me look like I haven't been up all night

there, now I'm ready to 'mind the shop' again.

How do I stop being overwhelmed by this choking sensation ?
Good job no one can see inside, there is a hole where my heart once was
and my brain cell has all but shut down, unable to face the reality of what has happened.
The emptiness inside is expanding and suffocating me.
I'm pacing the floor at night unable to sleep.

I keep looking for 'him' listening for him to call me
I won't sit on certain parts of the sofa because it's where 'he' sits sat
I keep preparing now unwanted medications
Also extra bowls of food

I want to thank all of you for your kind messages of sympathy, it really does help knowing that there are kind friends out there who really know what I'm going through and have experienced it themselves.
Thank you.


  1. you will always have a place in your heart for him and in time to come the pain will ease and will be replaced by happy memories it all takes time :-)

    1. Yes Dawn, you're right.
      Thank you

  2. It must be so difficult for you just now, but like Dawn has said, I hope in time the pain will give way to your happier memories. Much love. X

    1. Thank you SD, your comment and visit is appreciated.

  3. You have been on my mind Wean. It is so hard to know what to say. You really do have lots of friends who sympathize and know what you are going through. You and Sopicat were so lucky to have each other. He had such a good life with you. Love you!

    1. Henny, you are so kind. Thank you so much for your kind thoughts. I miss him so much I can't say.

  4. Replies
    1. Thank you very much. Your thoughts mean a lot to me.



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