Thursday, 11 June 2015

Today Mathew, I will be ....

Today I'm sitting in my Son's kitchen showroom 'minding the shop' for him because he is busy fitting a kitchen.  I do this occasionally and have to say I enjoy it because it is so pleasant to be in a clean, tidy environment with perfectly painted walls, beautiful tiled flooring and everything maintained to the nth degree, such a change from my rented home where everything seems to be falling apart or disintegrating around my ears, in fact it's totally dysfunctional.

Anyway, in order to present the illusion that I am capable, knowledgeable and 'in charge' I have to perform major surgery on my appearance.  Now I know you will find it hard to believe, but I am usually a cross between Aunt Sally and a dirty old bag lady (I knew you would find that hard to believe) and it takes considerable time in the bathroom before I can emerge and take my place as a member of the human race.

I'll get to the point soon please bear with me.

Recently, whilst 'on duty' a woman came in and asked the usual questions about cabinets, finishes, taps etc. etc., and the next day, when my son was back in, she phoned up to make an appointment for a measure and quotation because, she said, she had been to many kitchen shops, but had decided on this one because 'the girl in the office' was so helpful - ha - 'the girl' in the office !  now as I wasn't actually wearing a mask that day, I can only assume she really wanted the optician further down the road as her eyes must have been really bad.  (whatever, I will hang on to that comment forever).

So now whenever I get ready to do my stint, I always think of that comment, and imagine myself walking through the smoking doors and saying:

'Today Mathew, I will be - ' the girl in the office'



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