Monday, 6 July 2015

Are you a Hyacinth ... ?

Are you a Hyacinth Bouquet ? spelt B U C K E T ?

The lady with all the airs and graces of Royalty, where keeping up with the Jones's is her main aim in life ? who polishes the leaves on her plants, and wastes no opportunity to mention her Royal Doulton china with the hand painted periwinkles ?

You may well laugh, but there are so many of these 'ladies'.  I'm sure we all know one or two.

These ladies don't have homes, they have 'photo shoots', where nothing is allowed to be out of place, you can't sit on a cushion for fear of creasing it, you have to walk around the rugs instead of over them and even the plants in the garden stand to attention, not daring to relax !

I feel sorry for them, they obviously have OCD.

I know a lot about this subject because I was brought up in such a household, and it was hell !  I could tell you so much, but I'm sure you get the picture.  Just one or two things, when we came out of our bedrooms in the morning, we weren't allowed to go back in until bedtime. (no friends ever got over the doorstep let alone into the bedroom).  Even though there was an upstairs toilet if the need arose in the night, we had to come downstairs and use the outside one.

At night, it was freezing in the wintertime, there was an electric fire in the room but it was taped over so we couldn't switch it on, curtains were not drawn because it would spoil the 'folds' in them, frost formed inside of the windows  (I kid you not!)

Saturdays we didn't eat ! the kitchen was not messed  up on Saturdays !

Christmas presents were allowed out on Christmas morning, then had to be 'hidden' out of view behind the sofa.  Incidentally, the 'front room' was only used on Christmas day, it was cold and damp.  The furniture had to be kept in pristine condition.  Mother did relax this though in later life, we were allowed in there after tea.

She used to 'put the talk on' - it was embarrassing !  she was talking to a neighbour one day in the street and I asked her why she was talking 'funny' (I was 5) and I got a clip around the ear for my cheek !  (you couldn't report your parents for GBH in those days).

Snow had to be shovelled neatly, neater than anyone else's snow, and we were questioned about the contents of friends houses, furniture etc., to see if they had anything better than us !

So if you recognise yourself ladies, please start to change ... now.

My experiences have stayed with me all my life, it was not a happy childhood.  You may think you have a great home, but you are damaging your families for life.

My homes have always been clean, reasonably tidy and hopefully say: - 'come in, sit down, make yourself at home' - not ' don't sit down, don't make a mess, you are not welcome'.

My Mother would hate the way I live, i.e. frugally, making do and mending, stretching money, shopping at charity shops, boot sales etc., she thought the more you spent, the better person you were, and the more cleaning you did, the more people would like you. - It didn't work.

I'm sure she ascended into Heaven on a vacuum !

Sorry Mother, but you know I'm right.

She'll probably start hurling thunderbolts down on me now for my cheek !

Something for you to think about ...


  1. I know a few like this, y upbringing was the opposite of yours my mother did nothing, we lived in a hovel, we never brought friends round it was embarrassing if my sister and me wanted clean clothes we would have to wash them ourselves, we had to feed ourselves as well from a very young age if there was food there, I now live a happy medium life :-)

  2. yes, that's the secret, clean enough to be healthy, untidy enough to be comfortable and happy.
    I know what sort of home I feel more comfortable in, one where I am not afraid to sit down and I know I'm not being watched in case I crease something !

  3. I do glance around sometimes and wish that I had an "inner Hyacinth", right now is an example, as it is raining I am sewing. The ironing board is set up in the kitchen, the sewing room is in overdrive and I have a trimming station on the sitting room floor, the only flat space big enough for my biggest cutting board that is free. I have about 2 hours sewing left and then will whirlwind it back to rights. My upbringing was a far cry from your and Dawns. The land and animals had first call on our time but the house had to be straight. The kitchen was the last place to be fettled as we were in and out most of the day. I often ate my porridge or sops (bread and milk heated with a knob of butter and a dollop of cream) with a clutch of newly hatched chicks in the warming oven of the range. It was only ever used for that sort of thing.

    1. Your place sounds great ! you are doing what you want to do and therefore injecting love into your home ! like the sound of the 'sops' !

  4. Wean,
    I will admit your post this morning has brought a chuckle, for I know all too well of what you are talking about. While it was not my Mother, you have described my paternal Grandmother to the letter. A women who took her role as family matriarch very seriously. And you are right about the effects such behavior has on children. Heck I still find myself checking the tidiness of closets prior to the arrival of guest, don’t ask!

    Hoping you have a wonderful day and now I feel the need to go check on the state of the “good silver” {lol}. Take care. – G

    1. Hi Gary, thank you for visiting.
      The effects are very far reaching, and it takes real effort not to go down the same path !

  5. Oh dear, i'm afraid i had to laugh at the ascending to heaven on a vacuum cleaner!
    Luckily for me i own not a single cleaning gene. Not sure how as my mother was a pretty tidy person. But i have managed to land myself with a hubby who likes cleaning. I do sometimes go off and have a mad cleaning and tidying day, but luckily those are few and far between ;)

    1. Hi UD and welcome.
      Yes, I'm sure she is polishing the clouds as I type !

  6. Wow - your mother was to the extreme. Not allowed to use the upstairs toilet even at night.

    Dawn - so sorry your upbringing wasn't any better either

    To me these are examples of child abuse. I am glad that neither of you repeated the cycle.

    Hugs to you both.

    1. Sandy, I'm sure you are right, but at the time it just seems normal when you are young.

  7. I loved this post. Thank you for making me smile!

  8. Hi Angela, thank you for visiting.


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