Welcome to Sandra Koester - a new follower. You are very welcome.*******************************************************************
I am surprised how much interest this thread has generated. I have had many emails from people telling me their stories and identifying with an unhappy childhood.
I would like to answer one or two questions before leaving this topic
New follower Sandy said:
.I am so disappointed that no one at your school recognized what was going on and helped you. Surely the teacher must have thought it odd that you never had the ingredients for domestic science and figured out what was going on.
Hi Sandy, well you see, back in the day, teachers were teachers, not Social workers, and were not trained to look out for this sort of thing as, thankfully, they are today. It was just a case of, you either had the stuff or you didn't, and if you didn't, you were humiliated in front of the whole class. I used to avoid that humiliation by 'hiding' in the toilets for the whole of the session (3 periods). Believe me, standing on a tiny toilet seat so no one could see your legs underneath the door for a whole afternoon was no mean feat ! When lessons ended I legged it as quickly as I could to avoid being questioned.
I did the same with PE because I didn't have any of the kit !
Dawn, your story is just as harrowing, you got the right word there - rejected. I left school at 16 to marry at 18 (a disastrous decision) the sole reason was to escape home life.
Email 1 asks:
'Why didn't you tell anyone about your homelife ?'
Because I didn't think I had anything to tell or complain about, I had nothing to compare my situation with so thought it was natural.
Email 2 asks:
'When did you realise you were abused/mistreated ?'
I can answer that with accuracy. I was due to leave school shortly, and I was sent around to a neighbours house on an errand, a girl the same age as me lived there. I was asked to come in and wait, which made me nervous because that was something Mother never did, everyone had to wait outside or 'go round the back', anyway I heard the sound of laughter and saw that Mother and daughter seemed to be enjoying a joke. This made me feel uncomfortable as we didn't laugh in our house, adults laughing was considered course, common and vulgar.
But I 'warmed' to the atmosphere in that house and I didn't want to leave even though I felt very hurt when the Mother hugged the daughter.
That was my 'lightbulb moment' the moment I realised that all was not as it should be in my home and with my Mother.
Father was totally under the thumb by the way and did as he was told, even to the point of telling me off for her and telling me once "I hope you rot in hell" - nice !
I'll leave this thread now. It only started discussing housework ! isn't it amazing how one thing leads to another ?
Thank you all for your comments and emails - and to those who have had similar experiences:
'We made it through - we may have been knocked down, but we got up again'.