Tuesday, 12 January 2016

I had a dream ...

I woke up crying this morning - I had an upsetting dream.
I dreamt about my oldest son (about 7/8 in the dream) he was as clear as day in a school sweater I knitted for him, I can see it so clearly, grey 'V' neck with red and white border around the 'V'.  There had been some sort of dispute and I had had to give him up, he was in a school/institution with loads of other children but I couldn't find him.  The hurt was palpable, I woke up crying and it took some time to calm down and assure myself that all my children were grown now with families of their own.

I have three happy healthy children and 9 grandchildren and two great grandchildren, I've found out, through the grapevine that there is another great grandchild on the way.

I only see my youngest son now and his two beautiful girls.  He and his family are a constant source of pride for me.  He still wants me in his life, the other two don't.  I have to say that most of the time I can push the hurt that they have caused me to the back of my mind and get on with life.  It's their choice, they have to live with it.

I wrote about family upsets here back in 2014.


Well, strange sort of post to start the day - it can only get better.


  1. We bring them up, all the same and then they meet someone and at first we think that this someone is ok and will become part of the family and for a while everything is hunky dory and then a few years down the line this someone really starts to show their true colours and then that is when the rot steps in - nowadays I go and see them and I keep very quiet for the sake of being able to have an hour a week with my child and 2 Grandchildren. The only time that I am truly wanted there by the other half is when I'm paying out for some thing that they want.... but the Good Lord always pays his debts and what goes around, comes around and I can bide my time - you wait too - your day will come - I'm lucky like you that I have 2 other children who aren't dictated to like the middle child is and who are they for me no matter what xx

    1. Yes Trudy, you are right. I bailed him and his wife out so many times, in emotional problems, financial, never repaid of course and lots of other ways, giving a home rent free, taxi services etc. etc., then when things start going well, I'm very conveniently 'dumped'.
      His 'lady' wife (I use the term very loosely) never liked me around because my son and myself were very close, like mates and she was jealous. I understand now that her family are the 'in thing'
      oh well - such is life.

  2. Dreams can seem SO real. Glad you have that relationship with your youngest son.



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